


small talk

by emilyrambles



Category: Dare Me (TV 2019)
Genre: Alcohol, Beth PoV, Canon Compliant, F/F, Underage Drinking, bc we love pain, lil bit of angst but that's just Them, oh dear we are in trouble, set somewhere in the middle ish of the season
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-24
Updated: 2020-03-24
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:13:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23301454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emilyrambles/pseuds/emilyrambles
Summary: Core strength, commitment, self-discipline and fucking rock-hard abs make Beth pretty good at control. She’s made her life from it, quite literally. No-one’s a better top girl than her. Fucking no-one.But Addy makes her lose control. Restraint flies out the window. When Addy looks at her like this, staring at her lips like she’s not had anything to drink all night, Beth’s not to blame for losing control.
Relationships: Beth Cassidy/Addy Hanlon
Comments: 26
Kudos: 157





	small talk

_she's been looking at me all night, I’m terrified / I don't know why, baby / she's got the wrong crazy / oh, I see the moon in her eyes, I’m paralyzed / she's not my baby / she's got the wrong crazy / like wolves, we've run wild / let passion get too much / let ourselves get burned by the fire / we're walking on wire / but nothing feels higher / when I see that look in your eyes_

She’s observant. Not in the way Bert describes – _you have shifty eyes Beth Ann_ – or Tacy demanding she stop drilling holes into the back of her head. Not in the way her mother believes she sees the world, too sharp, too naïve to understand that it’s a woman’s job to suffer, even though Beth knows that more than anyone. Her mother pretends to be perceptive, in some semi-feminist take-no-bullshit from men aka her father kind of way, but Lana Cassidy doesn’t know the difference between regionals and nationals and that tells Beth all she needs to know. No, Beth’s observant in her own way.

Like with the Hamsa bracelet, for instance. That goddamn motherfucking Hamsa bracelet.

She knows being observant isn’t just noticing things changing. It’s how and _why_ they changed. That’s the real secret.

Beth doesn’t deal in secrets. Her own, that is. Her mother’s slurred pathetic words _it’s your fault because you can’t keep a goddamn secret_ is ironically laughable, because she keeps most of her own just fine. Once she overheard Tacy telling a friend how she struggled to put a tampon in and she got the squad to nickname her _pocket pussy_ for a month until Bert paid her to stop. Other people’s secrets _are_ currency. That’s why being observant is important. And that’s why Beth’s secrets are like gold. Unlike money, gold is actually worth something someday. Worth investing in.

And Addy Hanlon is the only one who knows where the treasure is buried.

She used to, anyway.

Before Coach.

And now Addy’s secrets are like fool’s gold, and Beth is the one that keeps trying to dig. No amount of being observant can force Addy to come clean. But _god_ , if staring at her trying to understand her secrets isn’t such an unbelievable twist of fate. Beth was supposed to be the mysterious one. Beth was supposed to be the _goddamn_ dealer of secrets. _Addy_ was supposed to remain an open book.

But now Beth stares, and watches, as Addy continues tumbling through Beth’s life like – _well, a tumbler (fuck)_ – and she stares, and watches -

Like now, for example.

Addy is dancing on a table with RiRi, drunkenly rapping to M.I.A’s _Bad Girls_ , which normally Beth would be all over. It’s their trio song. But Addy isn’t wearing her Hamsa bracelet, and Beth knows where it is.

Two simple facts, one reason to step back.

RiRi screams the next line and promptly bends over, her criminally short golden dress sliding up her thighs and exposing the coloured thong she’s decided deserved to make an appearance tonight. Not that Beth wouldn’t usually appreciate such a sight, but Addy is biting her lip and swaying her hips and singing _what we got left is just me and you_ and makes eye contact with Beth in the corner of the room, always able to find her even in the smoky haze enveloping the kitchen, mouthing the next lyrics to her like scripture -

_But if I go to bed, baby, can I take you?_

For the first time that night, Beth looks away.

Cori approaches her asking to hold her beer can whilst she reapplies her lipgloss and she’s more than welcome for the distraction. Beth’s legs remain firm as Cori wobbles in front of her, grasping onto her arm for support as she trips over her heels to find the nearest mirror. The second she lets go and leaves Beth’s side, she places the beer can on the floor. Not her problem.

M.I.A fades into the background and Saweetie bursts through the speakers, bass tones reverberating through Beth’s chest like she took something she shouldn’t have. Her head feels tight too – unnaturally tight, and even though her heart told her to look away, Addy’s the only one who can make her feel better again.

Beth finds her attempting to get RiRi down from the table unsuccessfully, but successfully looking like she’s engaging in an exasperated game of tug-of-war. She slides up next to her, arm brushing against Addy’s shoulder, and she tries to ignore how the tight feeling in her chest spreads tingling to the skin making contact.

Addy leans in. “She says she ain’t coming down until we promise to do shots!”

Beth rolls her eyes. “Well we aren’t pussies. Why wouldn’t we?” Her smile is impossibly wide and turns into a smirk when RiRi finally processes what she said and lets out a long whoop of glee.

“Because the shots she wants us to take are like ninety percent pure absinthe _Beth_.” Addy scowls but there’s a mischievous glint in her eyes and Beth _fucking_ loves it. RiRi finally stumbles back onto solid ground and tilts in towards her, batting her eyelashes in a ridiculous fashion.

“I knew I loved you for a reason bitch. BRB!” she finishes waving her hands behind her and slinks off towards the drinks table to find their poison. Addy folds her arms and narrows her eyes at Beth, who responds by simply raising one of her trademark eyebrows and shrugs.

“Odds on her actually remembering why and who she’s getting the shots for?” Beth asks, and Addy lets out a huff of amusement as they watch RiRi flatten her palms against a kitchen counter surface, pause for a second, then start chatting to the two closest girls she can find about the fact her thong is giving her some serious problems and –

Well, Beth’s heard enough.

She turns to face Addy properly, acutely aware of the heat radiating from both of their bodies. Intense, sweaty dirty heat from the room, from their dancing, from something else entirely unspoken. Princess Nokia’s _Excellent_ suddenly cuts through Beth’s train of thought, and Addy is grasping her hand, attempting to pull her towards a larger group of people to grind against, but the unyielding pressure behind her eyes threatens to rear its ugly head and she hesitates. Addy, like so so many times before recognises there is something wrong, and her smile turns soft as she tilts her head in question. _You okay?_

Beth clenches her jaw shut tight as a reflex, moving her head fractionally to indicate her answer. Addy’s demeanour shifts entirely to one of concern and it’s so fucking sweet that Beth has a hard time meeting her gaze. Letting go of her hand, Addy instead links her arm with her own, but it only briefly soothes the comforting loss of contact that connecting their fingers together had provided. There’s just something about Addy’s hands.

They push through the gaggle of girls blocking the entrance to the staircase, ignoring the subsequent wolf whistles as Addy practically drags Beth up the stairs. The further they get from the suffocating noise of the party and closer to some privacy, Beth’s heart begins racing for an entirely different reason. She’s been looking at Addy all night, but it’s becoming increasingly clear as she flicks her eyes up to meet Addy’s characteristically steady gaze staring right back at her that she’s not the only observant one.

Beth swallows hard. That’s interesting. Her head seems clearer than ever before. Her skin burning. Her heart, heavy.

Addy takes her to the closest empty bedroom, opening the door with relative ease for someone who had been necking red solo cups of a stupid amount of some alcoholic concoction. Beth should remember what she’d been drinking, she had made a point to watch Addy’s alcohol intake for a reason, but the thought slips from her mind as quick as it enters, for Addy is shutting the door behind them and Beth’s somehow backing away from the centre of the room, towards the bed –

“Are you okay?” Addy asks verbally this time, and Beth’s only distinctly aware that she’s whispered it, but her ears are so attuned to the other girl’s tones that she picks up on it despite the constant thrum of bass coming from below them.

“I am now.” Beth’s surprised at how confident her voice sounds considering the fact she feels like she’s having some kind of crazy out of body experience, and the walls seem awfully closer than before, and Addy seems definitely nearer than before…

“You look weird.”

“Thanks for the compliment babygirl.” The attempt at sarcasm fails drastically when she realises the term of endearment slips out of her mouth, but before she can even think about that, the corner of Addy’s mouth twitches in amusement.

“No, I just meant like… you keep like _not_ looking at me.” she starts to move into Beth’s personal space, penetrating the bubble she keeps so usually unbending, but then again Addy’s never really had a problem breaking that rule either. Beth’s never really minded letting her. Nothing ever came easy, but her best friend became the exception to everything so effortlessly it was as simple as breathing.

“What?” Beth’s reduced to one word, one syllable sentences now, which is really fucking embarrassing, but Addy is relentless in her pressing, bringing her arms up and running her fingers over Beth’s forearms, and then her biceps, coming to rest her palms on the tops of Beth’s shoulders. Her muscles tense, her own body betraying her, but the other girl is already slowly, torturously, pressing the pads of her fingers into the skin around her collarbones, massaging her so tenderly the feeling encompasses her entirely. Warmth flows down her arms until her hands itch to touch too. And so she does, because Beth’s never been the one to deny herself the sweetest nectar, stretching her palms out to rest on the jut of Addy’s hips. She almost lets out a soft chuckle when she realises they’re in some strange prom-style position, which technically makes Beth the masculine one. Heteronormativity sucks she’s well aware, but if they were to dance at Sutton Groves High School’s next prom, as dates, as _something_ , this comes pretty close to what she’s imagined it’s like.

“Hmm… like I see you watching me, but it’s like you’re miles away.” _Pretty fucking observant there, Addy._ “You’ve been looking all night.”

“You’re drunk Hanlon. Stop this small talk.” Beth deflects because it’s easier, because they’re in _that_ territory now, and she knows her heart can only take so many more of these before she has a fucking stroke or something.

There’s a moment so fractionally small Beth almost misses it. But this is Addy, and Beth notices everything.

One glance down at her lips, then opening her own to say, “Sober enough to know what I want.”

It’s all about control.

Core strength, commitment, self-discipline and fucking rock-hard _abs_ make Beth pretty good at control. She’s made her life from it, quite literally. No-one’s a better top girl than her. Fucking _no-one_.

But Addy makes her lose control. Restraint flies out the window. When Addy looks at her like this, staring at her lips like she’s not had anything to drink all night, Beth’s not to blame for losing control.

Consent though. That’s important.

She hesitates, long enough for Addy to roll her eyes dramatically and pull her in closer by the nape of her neck. She lets out an exasperated sigh and pushes her head forward, resting for a slight second against Beth’s forehead before brushing their lips together. It feels so naturally right and perfect and scorching that Beth knows she’s in trouble. _Oh_ she’s in so much trouble.

The tight feeling that was in her chest and behind her eyes only a few moments previously, even though the party seems like lifetimes ago, dissipates completely, only to be replaced with a tugging sensation behind her naval and a rapidly increasing heartrate. Addy matches her tempo, sweeping her tongue across Beth’s bottom lip and something inside of her snaps. She presses her palms deeper into her hips, digging her fingernails hard into Addy’s skin. The other girl breaks their kiss to gasp softly, raggedly, and the sound sends chills down Beth’s spine, and the warmth sitting low in her stomach intensifies into overdrive.

But still, Addy is there to match her.

It’s not usually like this.

Generally, Beth’s the one to drive forward, the one to give, the one to make the first move. Addy is more than happy to comply of course, but this? This is fresh, exciting, electrifying uncharted territory and Beth soars higher than the clouds when Addy’s in this mood.

And if Addy is willing to give, Beth is willing to take.

(She briefly wonders if Addy sees it that way.

Or she thinks Beth just takes and takes and takes, without Addy ever giving permission, never giving her anything back in return. It would crack her heart clean in two if she did.)

The thought startles Beth into pulling away, taking the brief opportunity to stare at the look of pleasure on Addy’s face. She takes longer to open her eyes, pupils blown up under hooded lids, but satisfaction shoots through her bloodstream in response. It’s primal. It’s almost unnerving how undone they can make each other feel.

Beth feels cocky enough to push this. Playing fast and loose like so many nights in motel rooms or dense forests, only this time she’s with the one person her heart belongs to. “Get what you want?”

Addy chuckles faintly, like Beth’s just said the most complex yet simplest thing in the entire world. “Not quite.”

“Then come get me.”

When RiRi finally remembers to pour three messy shots into glasses, Addy and Beth are nowhere to be found. She smiles, takes all the shots herself, and shoots a quick prayer to whoever will listen that the world stays spinning tomorrow.

_tell me what you want, because you know I want it too / let's skip all the small talk and go straight up to your room / I’ve been thinking what I’d do when I’m alone with you / just say nothing, small talk only gets in the way_ – **small talk, niall horan**

**Author's Note:**

> follow me @ bethsaddys.tumblr.com and pls come yell at me about addybeth


End file.
